Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
