i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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