i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
