I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just gift wrapped bread.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
