Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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