apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
