Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
there is puke in my bra ... again
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
