Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
