Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
