I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
