Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
