absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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