omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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