Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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