a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
