my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
