I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
