I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
