About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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