I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
