i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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