btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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