Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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