we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
