I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
