Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
