I didn't shave. On purpose
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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