there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
