I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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