Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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