3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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