Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
