At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
ok first of all what the fuck
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
