i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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