If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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