Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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