Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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