we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
