All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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