I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
