My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
