its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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