Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you would pick up someone in the library
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
