it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
