Redeem this text for a blowjob
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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