don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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