so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The adults are the big ones right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
