the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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