Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
