watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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