Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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