People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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