i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
