I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
