Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize