Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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