That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
