Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
