Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
