She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
