I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
