I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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